You're not married to your texts

So you’ve spent hours crafting that one article. Shed blood, sweat and tears designing that one perfect conversational flow. You hand it over to your editor, your peer reviewer or your client…and they smash it to pieces.

Believe me, I’ve been there. Some people used red pens :-) And if there’s one thing that years of cross-outs, angry red circles and exclamation marks have taught me, it’s that I’m not married to my texts. My content is not an extension of my ego.

Ouch…

When you put a lot of effort in crafting your copy, you run the risk of emotionally over-attaching yourself to what you’ve created. So if your client tells you in no mean words that this isn’t what he meant, you may jump straight into the knee-jerk reaction of defending yourself, or wanting to hide under the bed, or beating yourself up. Or in some cases, even disappear from the surface of the earth altogether.

Breathe

But what if you could see this from a different perspective? What if you could see this moment as an opportunity to practise detachment. To take a minute to let things sink in and breathe.

Because at the end of the day, you’re there to create a product that meets the goals and needs of your client or customer. Nothing more. Nothing less. If you look at it that way, it may become a bit easier to look at your content project as a system, with quality parameters that you can discuss, design and agree on.

And hey, at least your client cares enough to give feedback. That means that he read the text. Because, to be honest, for me, there’s only one thing worse than negative feedback…no feedback at all. That’s when I start to get really worried.

Listen

So, once you have found your center and got over the first surprise, be prepared to open up and listen. Without judgment, without preconceptions but with an inquisitive mind. Apparently, we have a problem at hand here that needs to be solved, and it’s up to you to find the clues that can help you find a solution.

One tip: I always carry a notebook with me and take written notes. Writing is a great way to practice detachment. It forces you to focus on what someone else is saying and to structure that to the level where you can write it down. Plus, it takes so much mental capacity that there’s not much room left for emotions :-)

Allow your client plenty of time to share his side of the story, the things he doesn’t agree on, or wants to see changed. Again, resist the reflex to defend yourself. Inquisitive, open mind.

Ask

Once you get the general gist of your client’s feedback, it’s your turn. And this is where the fun part starts: exploring! Ask open questions, do a deep dive on the important topics, check your assumptions, make sure that you really, really understand.

The more you write, the easier it gets

I know, this is Auntie Maaike, but it’s true. After years and years of writing, it has gotten a lot easier to see texts as a commodity, a product that I deliver. I have developed routines for tackling various types of content projects. And one thing that helps a lot, is to train your writing muscles. To make writing as easy as possible for yourself. So that you don’t feel like your entire life depends on it :-)

Another helpful thought is to realize that the success of your work is not solely dependent on your own skills. There’s always a thing like context. Projects might not run smoothly. People might not have time to help you.

Be kind to yourself

You know? People will always have feedback on your texts. They will always think something of it. Because that’s what texts are for :-) So the entire world may be critical about your product. But only you can influence how that affects you as a person.

So, be kind to yourself. Be realistic, both in what you may still need to learn, but, even more importantly, in what you already know how to do, and the expertise and experience you already gained. Because that’s the easiest part to forget.

(For a practical follow-up, see my content quality audit checklist.)